The Preacher's Business Card
A new preacher was visiting in the homes of the
members. At one house, it seemed obvious that someone
was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks
at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and
wrote, "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it
in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he
found that his card had been returned. Added to it was
this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his
Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of
laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins, "Behold, I stand at the door and
knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden
and I was afraid for I was naked."
Go to Church!
Waking Up for Church One Sunday morning, a mother went
in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready
for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why
not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons," he
said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like
them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good
reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 59 years
old, . and (2) you're the pastor!"
The USHER
An elderly woman walked into the local country church.
The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped
her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The
pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
The Twenty and the One
A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed
twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to
be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be
burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty-dollar
bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.
"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed.
Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest
restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and
even a cruise to the Caribbean."
"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an
exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been
throughout your lifetime?"
The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the
Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran
Church..."
The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"
Goat for Dinner
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday
dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the
meal, the minister asked their son what they were
having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you
sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, . .
'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for
dinner.'"
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